You may remember my post about how great is to be together . In a nutshell, I wrote about how many positive changes happen when child appear in our life. Now with full responsibility I can add one more thing. On the one hand, dark one, and on the other indicate how much we love Mania and Jan.
It's something crippling. I feel encompassing powerlessness. The fear, that this small creature which runs around the house, might something bad happen. That she is now healthy, does not mean she always will. Every day remind me of this, posts on Facebook, news in TV about the need of support this or that lethal sick child. Also clearly remind me about this is life, I am writing this from a hospital bed – looking at whether Jas breath normally or not.
Among in all this there is one thing that made me feel even more frightening. What if something happen to me or Karolina? Now, tomorrow, next week, not within 50 years. Think about the fact that so many wonderful moments, smiles, happiness and travel may miss me, I quickly realize, once again, what really matters in life. Imagine that tomorrow there won’t be another shared moments, that someone something could happen that tomorrow may not come. The first thought is probably "it does not concern me." I also do repeat that. On the other hand, I know that it might concern me. Then what? I do not know. Totally I do not know how to cope with that when someone suddenly disappear or how other will manage without me.